3rd trimester and pregnancy dreams

Wow. It's been a while. Mostly because nothing much has been going on. They call the 2nd trimester the "Honeymoon trimester" and it's pretty accurate. Now, though, I'm officially in the 3rd trimester and I'm definitely feeling pregnant. Bending over to pick stuff up or to get stuff out of low cupboards is getting more and more uncomfortable. Getting up off the couch is getting more difficult, physically AND mentally. The fatigue has seemed to set in and I just want to sleep all the time. It's different from the 1st trimester fatigue, though. There seems to be less and less room in my stomach every day. A small meal makes me feel Thanksgiving stuffed. Never mind the heartburn and indigestion. I'm still craving sweets, especially chocolate. I have to have dessert every night or else I feel sad and deprived. Hopefully I passed my glucose test. The results should be in this week, but they won't call me unless I didn't pass. I peed a little when I coughed the other day and the midwives scolded me for not doing my kegels. I hate kegels dammit! But, I'm doing them a little more often now (as compared to never, I guess). Erik just laughed at me. He thinks all of my pregnancy issues are hilarious. I got a little rashy on my upper thighs (probably from heat or sweat or whatever) and I had to have him look at it 'cause I can't see it and he thought that was the funniest thing in the world. So, the belly (the reason I can't see my upper thighs) is just getting huge. I can feel it stretching and I constantly run into things with it. I have to wear an apron when I cook and do dishes 'cause I end up with water all over it or smearing it in something that was on the counter. It's so heavy, too. I am so gonna feel like a whale soon. I've already gotten a couple of comments from women about it. Apparently I look like I'm gonna pop soon. I'm glad I don't go out in public much 'cause I don't think I could handle too many stupid comments from people. I'd probably end up telling some well-intentioned old lady to fuck off. I think the only appropriate response from total strangers is for them to look at your belly and then look at you and smile. They've acknowledged that you're pregnant and that's enough. They don't need to ask how far along I am, whether or not it's my first and when my frickin' due date is. Let alone some other asinine question or comment. No one better be asking me about the condition of my cervix or belly button (it's happened to other women I know). Oh, and never mind sex. That's getting more and more difficult, as well. Poor Erik. It's just so hard to be sexy when you have this giant belly in the way and all kinds of aches and pains and heartburn and gas. I'm obviously not one of those women who are insatiably horny throughout their pregnancy. He's such a good sport, though. He thinks my belly is sexy. I feel so lucky 'cause so many guys get turned off by pregnancy.

Anyway, I had a couple of interesting pregnancy dreams the past few days. The other night I dreamt that I met my baby. He was in a car seat or something and he was quite small. I was like, "oh, there's my baby." He was wearing a diaper and I pulled it down to see if it was a boy or a girl and it was definitely a boy. Then I gave him lots of kisses. For some reason, I knew that he was 3 months early and I was concerned. I don't know why he was born already, but I knew that he wasn't supposed to be. I asked the midwife if I had to put him back (yes, put him back, like cut me open and put him back in my uterus) for three months, but she said no, he'll just have to be in NICU. I was very upset about this because it was going to totally ruin all of my plans for breastfeeding and bonding with my baby. That was then end, I guess.

I think last night's dream was even crazier. So, I was in labor in the birth tub and was getting to the point where things get really intense and you think you can't handle it anymore. Then, I was outside myself watching the labor and even helping. I saw myself freaking out and saying that I couldn't do it, but the birth attendant told me I was almost there. The baby was crowning and then the birth attendent told me to catch the baby. So, I hold the head as they baby comes out and when it's out, I look at it and it's a pretty girl baby. I was wearing a long sleeved black shirt for some reason and cuddled the wet, slimy baby, which had turned into a puppy. It was a black and white cocker spaniel. (I hate cocker spaniels BTW). So, I'm cuddling the puppy/baby, but I wasn't the one who had given birth. Erik and the midwives were getting a blanket ready for the other "me" who had just given birth so she could hold the puppy/baby and I looked at her and said, "look, it's black and white, just like you like" I guess trying to cheer her up because she just had a puppy instead of a baby. Which is weird, 'cause it's my mom who likes black and white animals. I remember wondering what kind of drugs taken during pregnancy or screwed up genetics would cause someone to give birth to a puppy. It was all very disappointing.

So, yeah, 3 more months. Possibly less. Am I ready? Hell no. Do I have a choice? Nope. Too late for that. I have mostly everything I need as far as furniture and clothing thanks to all of my wonderful friends and relatives. I suppose I need to stock up on diapers at some point. I had also better get cracking on the knitting if I want hats and booties. I still haven't finished the blanket I started forever ago. Well, that's all for now, I guess.