29 weeks (quick update)

Ugh! The stretchmarks are sneaking up on me. I thought that I might escape them (I don't know why), but no. They are appearing on my belly and thighs. No amount of belly oil is going to fight them off. Oh, well.

Apparently my baby is the size of a butternut squash and weighs about 2.5 lbs. It feels more like a 10lb watermelon in there. There isn't enough room in my abdomen for my stomach, intestines, lungs AND a baby. Last night at bedtime, my dinner kept threatening to come back up and to make matters worse, baby was doing water aerobics or something AND then the cat decided that she needed to make biscuits on my belly. It was all too much. I had to go sit in the recliner in the livingroom until I fell asleep. I have a feeling I'll end up there a lot toward the end of this pregnancy.

Erik was really grumpy at bedtime, too. I had to sit up because my tummy was so upset and he got all mad when I pushed him off of me when he tried to cuddle. I seriously felt like I was going to explode, but instead of being understanding, he just told me that I complain too much. I'd really love to see him be pregnant. Grrr.

3rd trimester and pregnancy dreams

Wow. It's been a while. Mostly because nothing much has been going on. They call the 2nd trimester the "Honeymoon trimester" and it's pretty accurate. Now, though, I'm officially in the 3rd trimester and I'm definitely feeling pregnant. Bending over to pick stuff up or to get stuff out of low cupboards is getting more and more uncomfortable. Getting up off the couch is getting more difficult, physically AND mentally. The fatigue has seemed to set in and I just want to sleep all the time. It's different from the 1st trimester fatigue, though. There seems to be less and less room in my stomach every day. A small meal makes me feel Thanksgiving stuffed. Never mind the heartburn and indigestion. I'm still craving sweets, especially chocolate. I have to have dessert every night or else I feel sad and deprived. Hopefully I passed my glucose test. The results should be in this week, but they won't call me unless I didn't pass. I peed a little when I coughed the other day and the midwives scolded me for not doing my kegels. I hate kegels dammit! But, I'm doing them a little more often now (as compared to never, I guess). Erik just laughed at me. He thinks all of my pregnancy issues are hilarious. I got a little rashy on my upper thighs (probably from heat or sweat or whatever) and I had to have him look at it 'cause I can't see it and he thought that was the funniest thing in the world. So, the belly (the reason I can't see my upper thighs) is just getting huge. I can feel it stretching and I constantly run into things with it. I have to wear an apron when I cook and do dishes 'cause I end up with water all over it or smearing it in something that was on the counter. It's so heavy, too. I am so gonna feel like a whale soon. I've already gotten a couple of comments from women about it. Apparently I look like I'm gonna pop soon. I'm glad I don't go out in public much 'cause I don't think I could handle too many stupid comments from people. I'd probably end up telling some well-intentioned old lady to fuck off. I think the only appropriate response from total strangers is for them to look at your belly and then look at you and smile. They've acknowledged that you're pregnant and that's enough. They don't need to ask how far along I am, whether or not it's my first and when my frickin' due date is. Let alone some other asinine question or comment. No one better be asking me about the condition of my cervix or belly button (it's happened to other women I know). Oh, and never mind sex. That's getting more and more difficult, as well. Poor Erik. It's just so hard to be sexy when you have this giant belly in the way and all kinds of aches and pains and heartburn and gas. I'm obviously not one of those women who are insatiably horny throughout their pregnancy. He's such a good sport, though. He thinks my belly is sexy. I feel so lucky 'cause so many guys get turned off by pregnancy.

Anyway, I had a couple of interesting pregnancy dreams the past few days. The other night I dreamt that I met my baby. He was in a car seat or something and he was quite small. I was like, "oh, there's my baby." He was wearing a diaper and I pulled it down to see if it was a boy or a girl and it was definitely a boy. Then I gave him lots of kisses. For some reason, I knew that he was 3 months early and I was concerned. I don't know why he was born already, but I knew that he wasn't supposed to be. I asked the midwife if I had to put him back (yes, put him back, like cut me open and put him back in my uterus) for three months, but she said no, he'll just have to be in NICU. I was very upset about this because it was going to totally ruin all of my plans for breastfeeding and bonding with my baby. That was then end, I guess.

I think last night's dream was even crazier. So, I was in labor in the birth tub and was getting to the point where things get really intense and you think you can't handle it anymore. Then, I was outside myself watching the labor and even helping. I saw myself freaking out and saying that I couldn't do it, but the birth attendant told me I was almost there. The baby was crowning and then the birth attendent told me to catch the baby. So, I hold the head as they baby comes out and when it's out, I look at it and it's a pretty girl baby. I was wearing a long sleeved black shirt for some reason and cuddled the wet, slimy baby, which had turned into a puppy. It was a black and white cocker spaniel. (I hate cocker spaniels BTW). So, I'm cuddling the puppy/baby, but I wasn't the one who had given birth. Erik and the midwives were getting a blanket ready for the other "me" who had just given birth so she could hold the puppy/baby and I looked at her and said, "look, it's black and white, just like you like" I guess trying to cheer her up because she just had a puppy instead of a baby. Which is weird, 'cause it's my mom who likes black and white animals. I remember wondering what kind of drugs taken during pregnancy or screwed up genetics would cause someone to give birth to a puppy. It was all very disappointing.

So, yeah, 3 more months. Possibly less. Am I ready? Hell no. Do I have a choice? Nope. Too late for that. I have mostly everything I need as far as furniture and clothing thanks to all of my wonderful friends and relatives. I suppose I need to stock up on diapers at some point. I had also better get cracking on the knitting if I want hats and booties. I still haven't finished the blanket I started forever ago. Well, that's all for now, I guess.

25wks6days

I was standing in front of the mirror naked just now and noticed how incredibly veiny I am. I guess because I have increased bloodflow in my body, all of my veins are really visible. I can see them down my sides and on the sides of my belly. You can even see them on my chest under my old lady skin. I think I might be getting stretch marks on my belly, but only very faintly. I can't see underneath my belly anymore. I'm just about 26 weeks. I told Erik the other day that I only had 15 weeks left of pregnancy and he asked if I could keep it in longer. Apparently he's a little nervous about having a new little one! Me, I'm pretty excited. Actually, I guess I go back and forth. One minute I can't wait to have the baby and see what it looks like and do all the mommy things and the next minute I'm freaking out because I'm gonna have a baby. I was suuuuper grumpy the other day and Frances was banging around and stomping down the hall and I just about bit her head off! I just thought about what I'll do if she's making all that noise when I have a newborn that I just got to sleep.

I have a midwife appointment tomorrow. I'm supposed to bring a 3 day food log and I really don't want to admit to anyone, let alone hippy dippy midwives, what I've been eating. I am totally craving sweets. I met Erik for lunch and on my way home I stopped at the donut shop and bought two donuts and scarfed them down before I even got home. I think I might not put those on the log. I eat lots of cheese and meat, too and I know they frown on that. They think that I should be getting more protein from beans and nuts, but I'm a carnivore. Plus, I read that cholesterol doesn't matter when you're pregnant because the baby needs lots of it to develop properly. I should be eating more veggies, but I have come to the realization that I'm really not that in to vegetables. Salads bore me, so I have to put tons of dressing on them. I like broccoli, but you can only eat that so many times a week. I don't like greens at all. I've tried to like them, really I have. Oh, and there's this pregnancy tea that they want me to drink every day. So, I dutifully went to the herb store and bought all of the herbs for it and mixed them all together in a big jar. I poured a portion into a quart jar and let it steep for 4 hours, like they recommended and took a sip and decided that I pretty much hate it. I'm supposed to drink a quart of it a day! I don't drink tea. I drink water all day. Apparently that's not good enough. They especially want me to drink it because I still have to have my cup of coffee in the morning and supposedly it will help offset some of the negative effects of caffeine or something like that. Hmmmph is all I have to say about that. So, I don't have any good news to tell the midwives. They're going to be disappointed that I've been eating too much meat and cheese and sweets and not drinking my pregnancy tea. Pth. Well, I have to go try to register for a childbirth class now. 'Til next time!