Almost 36 weeks

Picture 1: Dresser that I'm decoupaging
Picture 2: The pile of packaging from the crib
Picture 3: Me at 35 weeks!

Well, I'm overdue for an entry in here. It's been almost a month. Things are breezing along. Just being pregnant. The baby is getting bigger (duh) and there is less room for moving around. I feel plenty of movement, but less kicking and more pushing and bulging. Its favorite spot seems to be having its butt up under my right rib cage. I have a tender spot there now and when its pushing against it, I get numb and tingly. It feels gross! I think that maybe it's its feet sometimes 'cause I tried pushing them down and then it kicked me! It was funny. I keep referring to the baby as "it" today. Hmmm. I guess it's just easier to type than he/she. Oh, and I have lovely purple stretch marks on my lower belly now. And they itch! And I'm developing a crazy spare tire. Most of my weight gain seems to be on my upper hips and across my back just above my butt crack! It's horrid! I really hope that I lose that very quickly. Apparently my butt needs to get bigger for childbirth or something. Ugh!

So, I've actually been doing some stuff in preparation for the little one. I'm almost finished decoupaging the dresser and the crib is partway put together. We started it yesterday, but we are missing some screws, so we'll finish today after we go to Ace. I washed all of the baby clothes and bedding and blankets that we've gotten and I'm going to sort them into age categories today. I ordered my homebirth kit (plastic sheets, absorbent pads, etc.) and we're starting to stock up on stuff. We have to paint some shelves soon and figure out where we want them. We have a home visit with the midwives on Friday. It's in the evening and we're cooking dinner for them. Kind of weird, but cool, too. They want to be familiar with our house and where everything is so we don't have to do an orientation while I'm in labor.

I watched a video of a woman giving birth the other day and I've come to the conclusion that I don't like watching other women give birth. Way too intense. And messy! I know that I'll be going through it and it will get messy, I just don't want to see it. It freaks me out.

So, we're taking this birth class called "Birthing From Within" which sounded good to me because it's not a conventional class geared toward hospital births. Anyway, I think I wrote about it last time. So, I was reading the book for the class and came across this passage: Living in the Southwest has influenced our childbirth classes. Picture this: Mothers sitting in a circle on the floor, learning to labor-howl while a tape of howling coyotes fills the room. Later, fathers join in the circle for co-chanting. Some people start out a bit inhibited, but once they warm up, it isn't easy getting them to stop. I just about died. I read it to Erik and I said, "if she does this in our class, we're outta there!" So, the very next class, guess what? Coyote circle! Erik wasn't at that class either, so I didn't have a partner for the co-chanting, which meant that the instructor would have been my partner. I was sort of tricked into it. She had us get in a circle on the floor and she put a tub of ice down in the middle (we use ice to practice our pain coping techniques). Then, she starts the coyote howling soundtrack and it was then that I knew what was about to happen. I panicked. All I could think of was how to get up and leave without making a scene. I knew there is no way I could handle sitting through it. I guess I found an opportune moment, so I grabbed my shoes and ran out the door. I didn't have time to gather all of my stuff, so I couldn't leave. I just wandered the halls of the hospital until I thought that it might be over. I listened at the door a couple of times to see if they were done howling and went back in when I thought it was safe. They weren't done, however. I didn't join the circle and had to sit through one round of watching them do the co-chanting thing. That's where the ladies start to moan and make "birth noises" and the men join in and match the woman's tone. It was awful! I was so embarassed for them. Anyway, at the next pause, I grabbed the rest of my stuff, flashed an apologetic look to the instructor and bailed. I was never so happy to get out of somewhere! I dunno. I know I'll probably make lots of noise during labor, but I'll be in the comfort of my own home and will only have Erik and the midwives around me. That's a huge part of why I want to birth at home - I don't want to be inhibited if there are strangers around. Plus, I totally can't picture Erik moaning with me. It would probably annoy the hell out of me or just be too silly. We subsequently didn't go to the next class. We're just not getting anything out of it. This Thursday is the last class and I'm contemplating whether to go or not. I like the other couples there and it will be cool to see them one last time, but I dunno.

So, that's about it. Just over a month until the baby comes. I don't think it will actually feel real to me until I'm actually going through it. And then I'll have this little baby. It's crazy.